Bits for Tits, Twisters & Teaching

Notice:  Please click on the Bits for Tits  link under the “Contest” category on the right side bar.  This will take you to the official page.  Please be patient with me, I’m  technologically challenged!

As some of you may know, my friend, Christy, was diagnosed with breast cancer this fall and recently underwent breast removal surgery.  She is now starting  radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Eventually she’ll begin physical therapy too.   Throughout her ordeal she’s maintained patience and sense of humor which, in my opinion, qualifies her for sainthood.  

I’d like to help show support for Christy.  I know that the blogosphere is rife with generous people.  So here is my request/challenge.  I would like for everyone who is able, to knit, crochet or sew a prosthesis breast and send it to me before February 14th.  All breasts collected will in turn be sent to Christy.  She can pick and choose those she wishes to wear and the rest can go to the clinic where she undergoes treatment. 

Here are some free on-line pattern links:

http://www.straw.com/cpy/patterns/cot_chenille_boob.html

http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEfall05/PATTbits.html

It’s a great way to use up yarn bits and the color/style possibilities are endless.  Think of it as “Bits for Tits!”

But wait, there’s more!  IF you don’t feel comfortable knitting a breast then how about a chemo cap?  For each item received you will gain one entry into random drawings for prizes.  So far I’ve only gathered together three prizes, but these will be added to over the next month and more packages will be put together, including NON-fiber prizes because believe it or not, not everyone knits or spins! 

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My goal is to bury her in breasts and to let her know how much she’s loved and to maybe give her a good laugh to boot.   If you wish to participate then leave me a comment and I’ll email you my mailing address.  And please include your name or a quick note with each breast so she knows who made what. Thank you!

*Several people have asked about cup size.  I believe that the patterns group sizes together.  I do not know Christy’s cup size but I know she’s bigger than me so maybe one of the larger sizes.  If I’m wrong then please correct me Christy!

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Well, yesterday began much like any other day but by noon I had an eye out for hidden cameras as the theme song from The Twilight Zone recirculated through my head. 

11:15 am  After dropping off more paperwork at the school district office I stopped into a nearby Goodwill Store.  While perusing the aisles I spotted a large bag full of assorted yarns.  Further inspection revealed that 5 skeins of worsted weight wool, 1 skein of mohair blend and some baby acrylic yarn were inside the $2.00 grab bag.  So after tossing it in the cart I continued looking for bargains.  The next row over a woman approached my cart, picked up the bag of yarn and started speaking to me in Russian.  I gently took the bag back and tried to explain that I was buying it.  Once again, she picked up the bag and made motions to me that she wanted it.  And again I took it back while gesturing to the area where it was found.  The language barrier proved quite frustrating. This rather persistent woman then tailed me throughout the store.  I’ve no idea if she hoped I’d set it down or if she wanted to acquire it while I wasn’t looking.  

Eventually I made it to the linen department where there was an old, faded, antique quilt. A quick examination revealed that it was hand-quilted with no holes.  As mentioned before, it was terribly faded, but given the age of the quilt this could be forgiven. I placed it in my cart with the bag of yarn.  Almost immediately another woman picked the quilt up out of my cart and begain examining it.  She asked if I knew that the quilt was $19.99.  I told her thank you and that yes, I intended to buy it.  The yarn lady was still shadowing me.  At this point I wondered if I was being Punked and decided to leave the store. I wheeled to the checkout line… complete with escorts trailing behind.  Once the cart was secured between the checkout counters and I’d blocked the back access with my body I finally let my guard down.

This was when things got really bizarre.  A group of spectators had gathered in the parking lot.  They were all facing the same direction and almost all of them were talking on cell-phones.  Then people from deep within the bowels of the store emerged and began to join them outside.  I stopped one man and asked him what was up.  He replied, “There’s a tornado heading towards us and we’re watching it.”  WTF?  This is NOT Kansas, it’s western Washington for Pete’s sake. AND it’s winter. Tornadoes happen in the spring or autumn.  

Not wanting to get out of line and definately not wanting to stand outside just in case there really was a tornado coming I stayed put.  After paying for my items I still held back in the vestibule. I could see lots of black clouds and one large blueish swatch, but nothing more.  Eventually people began to disperse so I got into my car and drove home.  Once here I discovered that there really had been a tornado.  That blue swatch was indeed the twister.  It was just much, much wider than I thought one would be.  Because of wind strength and later damage assessments it was rated as an F1.  Luckily nobody was injured or killed, but some homes, cars and trees within a four mile path were damaged and destroyed.   I’ve lived here pretty much my whole life (with the exceptions of San Antonio and Biloxi for Basic training and Air Force tech school).  My knowledge of tornadoes could fill a thimble, but even I know to stay inside and away from windows, etc.  All of those people in the parking lot… Darwin had theories about them.

Anyway, here is a quick picture of the quilt, which will probably find its way to ebay.  The hand quilting isn’t visible in this photo.  More detailed closeups will be emailed to Karen for her professional opinion regarding the age, etc. of this. 

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And finally, on to the “Teaching” part of the title.  This morning the local school district called to let  me know that I’m officially on their substitute teacher roster and then they asked if I could work today.  I requested to hold off until Monday before starting.  I’m excited to have a job where if my health prevents I can simply pass on the work.  And my girls won’t have to attend daycare.  Whoo hoo!  Well, that’s about all for now. Hope you all enjoy a wonderful weekend.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Bits for Tits, Twisters & Teaching

  1. I was thinking about you guys when the Today show said there was a twister in WA – glad you’re okay!

    What the hell is up with those two ladies? How RUDE!

    Congrats on getting on the roster!

  2. I would have been so tempted to resort to soft core violence. And I would also have come back to the store and started putting bizzare things in my cart to see if they wanted to challenge me for those too. What a memorable trip!! Please please please remember to recount it when we are up at Packwood. (during happy hour me thinks) Congrats teacher lady!

    Dasvedanya, Comrade…

  3. Congratulations on the job! Sounds perfect. I will knit a tit or a hat for sure for Christy, too.

    Did you ever find out what the deal was with the yarn thief?

  4. CindyCindy

    Oh, the stories I can tell you about the Russian women at our church rummage sales. They would steal us blind and we would just sit there and laugh. Stealing from Christ was our motto for them. Whatever. I think intimidation is part of their m.o. As for the tornado. Holy crap, Robin! I know the color of the sky and the look and all, but I have not ever ever ever actually seen a twister. I sat through one in a gymnasium, but that doesn’t count even a little. I’m glad you were brave and bought your stuff whilst facing death down. As for the job……YEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS GRLLLLLL.

  5. WOWW! Congrats on the job! Clearly, I hadn’t read all the way to the bottom of your post before writing about the quilt. Horray!!
    Hittin’ the road…
    Love, Karen

  6. Way to score on the job! Weirdo women in the thrift shop, definitely Twilight Zone. The twister? Beyond bizarre. Did you know that it was 60 degrees in Milwaukee, WI yesterday but barely 20 degrees in Minnesota with piles of snow still? We’re just five hours away…

  7. Pingback: Around the House | Serendipitous Opportuknitty

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