Shall we scream?

There are screams of frustration, screams of terror, silent screams and even screams of laughter. Of course the latter is preferred, but occasionally one of the other types just happens.  Early this morning, before sunrise and alarm clocks, a horrific nightmare set in.  It was one of those nightmares where you know the events aren’t real. You want to wake up but your subconscious refuses to release you from its evil clutches.  Something bad, terrible in fact, is about to happen and you’re powerless to stop it.  In this type of dream it’s impossible to scream, no matter how hard try.  Then just before the worst of the worst happens you suddenly wake up only to discover that you’ve “found”  your lost voice, screamed loudly, startled your significant other out of his/her sleep and now you feel like a fool. Now not only are you and your s.o. wide awake, but the kitty who had been resting at the foot of the bed now glowers at you from the corner of the bedroom because in her mad scramble to escape the shrieking, crazed banshee, she darted headfirst into a closed door.  I can emphatically and unequivocally say that yes, I do indeed dream in color and that color is red… as in RED HEART YARN!  I dreamed I was drowning in crappy acrylic yarn.  It burns us Precious!

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Often times people blame pre-bedtime meals for strange dreams. 

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Last night’s dinner consisted of vegetarian Moroccan fare, nothing heavy or greasy.  I don’t think saffron causes synapses to fire with random abandon.  My best determination is that a large accumulation of said, scary yarn is to blame.  The above picture…  that really is me buried under 21 pounds of faux fiber… shows what’s been slowly building up in our garage during the past few months. Most was free from various sources, but I can safely say that none of it is destined for use here.  So pictures have been taken (other pictures) and some lucky ebayer is going to have a field day crocheting toilet paper covers shaped like southern belles until the proverbial cows come home.

Silent screams of frustration echoed through my head several times today as well.  I’ve now experienced working in a high school as a substitute teacher.  For the most part they are all good kids, but I have never seen so much black eyeliner, hair dye and piercings in one place before… and then there were the girls.  Yikes!  Frustrating moments included when one young lady brought in her adorable 10 month old niece for the day. edited to add that several babies attended school that day with various students as part of an observation experiment for one of the classes.  She was a happy, laughing baby so of course every other girl there went nuts over her and wanted to hold her, etc.  Hello people!  These are teenagers, aka walking hormones. Showing them a cute little bundle of joy is not only dangerous, but downright criminal in my opinion. Babies are indeed wonderful, but they are also the biggest responsibility there is. Ever. They should not be treated as some status symbol, attention-getting, gotta-have gadget. Any child under the age of two allowed to enter into a room full of teenagers should have been fed copious amounts of beans or other roughage one hour prior, be teething and napless. The little fellows lose lots of charm when they smell like an over-used Honey Bucket in July at a three day rock concert and sound like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Alice Cooper with a Mr. Microphone.   Other frustrating occurrences cannot be discussed here, but suffice it to say that high school “kids” are big.  Really big. Sometimes I have to dig really deep to find the acting skills necessary to not feel intimidated.

Other screams of frustration occurred following the blocking of this past weekend’s socks. 

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Notice anything unusual? Why yes, the right sock is significantly larger than the left sock.  A row recount revealed the same number of stitches in both socks.  The yarn is the same too,thus reducing the suspect list drastically.  A needle check revealed that size 1 dps were used throughout to knit both socks.  HOWEVER, a different brand of size 1 dps were used for sock #2.  I would now like to officially go on record as saying that Size 1 Addi DPs run big.  Allow me to demonstrate.

exhibit 1: Clearly marked size 1 Addi 8″ double point

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exhibit 2: The previously shown Addi next to a size 1 Clover bamboo dp

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 exhibit 3: One of several unsuccessful attempts to pass a size 1 Addi through the size 1 needle gauge hole

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Maybe the larger sized needles produced by Skacel are closer in size to standard needles. These were fine to knit with otherwise, but I strongly recommend anybody else wanting to try these out to compare them to existing needles if mid-project and to check gauge with them as well. again edited: Jessie pointed out that these are actually 2.5 mm which is equivalent to a size US 1 1/2.  That’s wonderful that this in-between size is made, but I wish that it stated the half size.  Now I need to find somebody with two drastically different sized feet to wear the socks. This is perhaps the BEST argument ever for why the United States should finally ditch the antiquated measuring system and join the rest of the world in metrics!

Screams of laughter… okay, so maybe I didn’t scream, but I did laugh so hard I snorted after opening this card today.

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When opened it reads, “… and a slightly below-average intelligence.”. The quote came from Elizabeth Zimmerman, but the delightful card came from Cindy.  Thank you very much!  You made my day.

Now, if I can only get someone to bid on that acrylic then all will be right with the world.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Shall we scream?

  1. Since when are high school students allowed to bring babies to school, particularly other people’s babies? I think I would have sent this student to the office to call the bio mom to pick up said child and take her to a sitter who is not currently enrolled in high school. My opinion. Cute card! Great socks (despite the size difference)! Good luck finding a home for the Red Heart.
    Love, Karen O

  2. Good Lord that’s a lot of acrylic. *shudder*

    btw, the before-bed meal thing is a reality for our friend. He eats pizza before bed and about three hours into sleepytime he’s screaming, “THEY’RE KIIIILLLLINNNNG MEEEEEE!!!” hehe Okay so WE think it’s funny – him, not so much. ;o)

    I totally agree with you regarding babies and teenagers. They definitely should be kept apart unless the baby is screaming and stinky. ;o))

    ohyeah Addi’s are bigger – they’re 2.5mm size 1’s. 1 and a half’s, even.

    Cute card!

  3. The colors of the socks is beautiful. And not to worry about the socks being different sizes. Wear them proudly, as though you MEANT to make them that way.

  4. I hope you have luck on ebay. Also, that’s alot of acrylic. I don’t think I have that much, but I take mine to the library for them to use teaching. Now, as for the screaming in your sleep…..I’ve heard about that. I have no idea if I do it or have done it, but I have heard about it. I have dreams so real that when I wake up I feel disoriented. And, there is no reason for a baby to be in a high school. That’s ridiculous. What are people thinking anymore?

  5. I forgot! I love your socks and agree with Dave. Just wear them and don’t worry about it.

  6. Size 1 and Size 2 are not all the same. Some Size 1 needles are 2.25 mm and some are 2.50 mm. Some Size 2 are 2.75 mm and some are 3.00 mm

    Ask me how I know? 🙂 That’s right, my second sock was coming out sooooo much smaller when I was forced to change dpns due to a broken one. My second set of US1s were smaller than the US1s I started out with…

    Apparently — millimeters matter!

  7. Pingback: Roasted with a nice orange glaze. « Serendipitous Opportuknitty

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