WTF Government: The U.S. Government has officially declared that we are in a recession. Duh. Did they really need to wait for the textbook definition of 2 consecutive quarterly losses to figure out that this was more than an “economic slowdown”? Hopefully this trend won’t linger long enough to become a full-blown depression.
“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.”
WTF Home: Where did my elves go? Since the week before Thanksgiving my girls have all been asking, “When are we going to decorate?” Yesterday we had a half day of school and work due to conferences, thus leaving us with three extra hours! Dusty boxes were squeezed through the miniscule attic opening and staged in the dining room.
Due to finances, fire safety, needle management, etc., we opted to use the artificial tree this year. Ours is a 7 foot tall monstrocity requiring each branch to be individually inserted into a metal slot on the trunk. First the branches need to be fluffed, bent back into shape and sorted into color-coded piles that match the color coding on the trunk. This latter task fell upon my children. Because the branches scratch the immortal crap out of your arms and hands they soon lost interest and wandered away. I don’t blame them in the slightest. My extremities look like hamburger and their arms aren’t as long as mine so they were getting poked in the face.
Luckily progression beyond this point halted due to the lack of functioning lights (I don’t sort through strings of lights checking individual bulbs if more than a few are burned out), because we discovered that the tree needed to be moved to accommodate the village. The tree was moved, the village assembled and the girls reappeared to admire and put out the finishing touches.
Needless (or is that needle-less) to say, we didn’t finish last night. A quick trip to the store to procure working lights left me gazing longingly at the pre-lit, easy-to-assemble artificial trees. WTF is up with those prices? My guess is that these are the first things to be snatched up during after Christmas sales too. Besides, I don’t do crowds so “Old Scratchy” will probably be with us for years to come.
My only question now is, WTF did I do with the Advil? I’m a hurting elf!