WTF Wildlife: Once again, native wildlife butts heads with humans here in the northwest. Instead of the noisy, ring-tailed, furry bandits terrorizing the neighborhood, this time we have subtle, slimy gastropods a.k.a. slugs.
Sure, they look benign, but *zombies would envy the slow, constant pace set by these insidious slimeballs. Their sheer numbers and ability to climb smooth, vertical surfaces (in this case our garage door) add to their quiet terror.
WTF Domestic Animals: Tasha is old. Tasha is sweet. We love Tasha. Tasha is disgusting. My days aren’t complete until I’ve shampooed cat vomit off the carpet (like any good kitty should, Tasha darts for carpeted surfaces at the first stomach heave), scoured bloody kitty boogers from the walls or cleaned turds up from next to the cat box. And as if her involuntary bodily secretions weren’t enough, now she’s back to pulling out random clumps of fur intentionally.
This sight greets us several times daily at various locations around the house. Lately she’s began disappearing as well. A thorough search revealed her enjoying a brand new kitty haven under the table holding the Christmas village.
Everyone loves our eccentric, old kitty, but I wan’t to know why it is that I’m the one who gets stuck cleaning all of the cat yuck.
WTF Missing: Where is December going? Between work, the kids’ activities (chess club is now joined by knowledge bowl) Christmas preparations have come to a screeching halt. No cards. No wrapped presents. No outside lights (I can’t count the pile on the ground next to the front door). No gift knitting. Seasonal panic leaches into my dreams where visions of disappointed children awake to a naked tree and no presents Christmas morning. Aaack!
*Seriously, how scary are zombies? A quick-paced walk leaves them leagues behind. For arguments sake let’s say you can’t walk away; the dudes are made of rotting flesh. One swift tug could literally disarm the brute. Once he’s missing his appendages you could hang little air fresheners from his ears (providing they don’t fall off) and wrap that bundle of unhung Christmas lights around his torso. Imagine the decorating possibilities!