WTF Field Trip: I love my job. I love children. Even so, yesterday’s adventure with 100+ second grade students to watch a play in Portland kicked my butt… in a good way. Some of the parent volunteers left at the end of the day with glazed eyes in a zombie-like trance. Obviously they are devoted and loving parents, or else they wouldn’t have opted to join their children. However, when you take your own child some place behavior problems can be resolved with threats of “Wait until we get home!”, etc. This doesn’t work with others’ offspring. Add the excitement of a day out of the classroom, going to a new place and mob mentality incited by large groups of peers and the threats may not even work with your own children. Nobody got lost, injured or vomited on the bus ride though, so it was, by all accounts, a successful outing.
That being said, if you suffer from the following symptoms, then you may want to limit volunteer time to making copies
Mastigophobia: Fear of punishment. Fear of flogging … see poinephobia
Pediaphobia: Fear of children… obvious
Ochlophobia: Fear of crowds or mobs… this one freaks me out, but as the crowd was mostly shorter than me it worked out okay
Ochophobia: Fear of vehicles… the I-5 bridge deck raised to let a boat through and we were stuck on a bus surrounded by lots of vehicles
Phobias to germs, bodily fluids and crying should also be considered.
WTF News: So this man walks into an airport with two pigeons stuffed in his pants. . . Seriously. A man was caught attempting to smuggle the birds into Australia.
WTF Dating Service: Hey there, if you’re a single human who hesitates to meet others because Fluffy or Fido might not like him/her then this place is for you! I wasn’t willing to sign up to find out, but I believe pictures or videos of the pets replace, or at least supplement, standard dating information.