WTF Wednesday Featuring My Own Incompetence

WTF Wheezing Potatoes: While wrestling the large sugar bin out of the pantry yesterday to make blackberry jelly I heard a strange, raspy and irregular sound coming from my potatoes. Being quite cowardly I envisioned large rodents or Freddy Kruger lurking amid the shadows, or that a portal to another dimension had opened up in my food cupboard. So of course I screamed and jumped back, whacking my knee on the door frame to the kitchen in the process. Neither a knife wielding killer in a striped sweater nor an alien life form emerged so that left the rodent option. I slipped on some nearby shoes, grabbed a broom and then stood outside the pantry door. The raspy sound was still coming from within and most definitely from behind the container holding the potatoes and oinions. I gingerly stretched out my arm as far as humanly possible without having to actually enter the small space. I managed to get a finger under the ledge of the potato bin and then little by little slide it away from the wall. As the bin inched forward I braced myself for teeming rats to pour forth. This is what I found…

TASHA

Thank heavens it was only Tasha! The old dear managed to squeeze herself in between the dried beans and spuds in order to get back to a quiet napping spot.

WTF Sewing: The metal antichrist  sewing machine came out of hibernation yesterday for some sewing sessions with A3 and A2.  A3 designed a doll’s dress and together we cut, pinned and sewed the edgy new couture.  I’ve no idea where the dress is now.  A2 wanted a three dimensional copy of Bunny.  Bunny is a cartoon character that she’s been drawing lately. Bunny is pink. Bunny is a boy. He doesn’t have a mouth, but the comics contain lots of thought bubbles. We didn’t have blue buttons large enough to preserve the scale of her drawings, but we still managed to sew life into her creation.

image0013

The bloody rabbit was sewn on the machine, but the stitching was added later.  I hate to sew. As soon as Bunny was finished she started talking about plans for a panda, a groundhog and some other critters.  Aack!

WTF Can you hear me now? a.k.a, When worlds collide: In the late spring my Grandpa Porgy fell and had to move into assisted living for recovery. He’s since moved to a different facility which offers more privacy yet still provides meals, laundry service, entertainment activities, etc. The rooms came with phones for making local calls and for receiving incoming calls, but Grandpa wanted to make calls to family members, etc. so he decided to get a cell phone. The phone arrived with some written instructions and the required charger. This might have been fine for someone familiar with cell phones or computers and using the internet. Grandpa is 88 and he’s never used a computer in his life. Even so, he managed to get it charged and place a phone call through to my dad. Grandpa wanted to test his phone so he gave my dad his new number and asked Dad to call him back. Dad called him and the phone rang and rang without being answered. After about five minutes Grandpa called back to say that he’d not received a call. My dad checked the phone number and told Grandpa that he had indeed tried getting through. To which Grandpa replied, “Well, it never rang, it just kept playing music.” How was he to know?

The world has changed and I’m right there with him when it comes to feeling left behind. Just last week my eldest picked up my cell phone and informed me that I’ve received a pile of text messages. Just a note to my friends and family, if you need to contact me please call my home phone… especially if it’s an emergency. Some of the text message senders were downright pissy at my lack of response, as evident by their increasingly horrible messages. I refuse to respond or acknowledge these because 1. I don’t need added drama, I’m raising daughters and 2. those who know me should be perfectly well aware of my technical incompetence and not decide to end friendships, etc. because I fail to answer messages on a contraption I usually can’t find or operate when I do. Enough said on that topic.

Cheers!

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “WTF Wednesday Featuring My Own Incompetence

  1. Roxie

    Love the horror story with the happy ending. Wheezy kitty saying, “Whiskey, tango foxtrot? I’m sleepin’ here!”

    Bunny is quite charming, and you are a genius to create him! Gropundhogs might be a lot more difficult.

    I love your grandpa’s story and feel for him most sincerely! But hooray for him for taking charge of his life, facing new technologies, and learning new things

  2. knitwonpurltoo

    Love the bunny. Nice work. And, yes, a groundhog will be much harder. Maybe a heart pillow instead? I love the story about Tasha. What a dear dear little old thing. And, the cell phone? Hate them, but they were a lifesaver when Mom was sick and in and out of the hospital. And, if you didn’t know you had text, how could you learn it? And, why would someone get pissy with you when they could have called the house phone to check on you? I would have been more worried than pissy. Ah, well. Whatever, right?

  3. Thank goodness the scary noises were only a sweet kitty. And I love the story about your grandfather – it make me laugh, which is a tough thing to do today!!

  4. You are so not alone on the text messaging thing! I know I’m showing my age as well since I refuse to text too. That’s okay though. Nobody that I hang out with texts anyway, we’re all too old! 🙂

  5. Dearest Heidi,
    I promise I will never get pissy if I leave a message and you never return it. I’d get worried but not pissy. I save that for work!

    S

  6. I never text anyone that I don’t already know has texting, so it’s pretty much DH and my sister. Not everyone has infinite texting anyway, and costs $$ for each text sent or received.
    Glad to hear that Freddy Kruger was actually Tasha in disguise! Silly kitty!
    I laughed about Grampa P’s story…would have been even better if he got up and danced to the music! Someone should program the phone to ring like it did in 1920. 🙂
    Fabulous bunny! I have similar stories of kids chopping into the middle of fat quarters for a circle the size of a quarter. Sigh….

  7. Our cell phones do not receive text messages at all. We told the carrier to turn off the feature at their end since we do not have a data contract and have to pay by the message and were getting spam text messages. Might want to see if your carrier offers the same service?

  8. Gillian

    Can sympathise with your grandpa. My mother has never really understood why her “Orange” phone is really a blue colour. She is also 88 but she has had hers for ten years so it takes up half her handbag.
    Love Tasha, and you are a great machinist!
    Cheers Gillian

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