It’s time for a weekly dose of the strange, silly and down right stupid. Warning, it may be a little wordy due to an alarming lack of caffeine at this early hour. Editing requires fully-functioning synapses.
WTF Collections: Years ago my Grandma Eva decided I should collect something so she started buying me spoons. Not solid silver or even utensil quality spoons, but rather the novelty spoons sold in gift shops. Many had an etching of the location in the bowl part of the spoon and the handles often featured raised, plaques glued to the handles. Others were more elaborate with floral or figural patterns stamped into the handles. I still have all of these spoons, they’re stored inside a memory box with Tuggy Tooter, my Blue Bird cap and other childhood treasures. About once every three years I look through the box and see all of the places that Grandma visited chronicled in these spoons. Over the years I’ve had half-arsed attempts at collections of various items ranging from teapots to bird nests. I’ve discovered that I don’t like collecting things just for the sake of owning them. Most “treasures” accrued through the years have been sold, donated or given away. Out of the teapots, I only kept four that have special meaning. I still have a few birds nests sealed up in a container. My husband thinks they are dirty and gross, but the craftsmanship (or craftsbirdship) never ceases to amaze me. These creatures, who not only lack opposable thumbs, but hands altogether, create durable homes using nothing but their feet, beaks and what random materials happen to be available. My favorites are the diminutive hummingbird nests lined with horse hair from when we lived in Spanaway.
(obviously these aren’t hummingbird egg shells)
Beaks and feet people! I couldn’t build a house with power tools and a lumber yard full of supplies. Sorry, I digress, this WTF is about collections. During a random web search (I’m nothing if not random) I found this site http://www.neatorama.com/2008/05/14/neatoramas-guide-to-25-of-the-strangest-collections-on-the-web/ where people share some of their collections. Some of them are so strange that I felt perfectly normal sharing the secret of my bird nest stash.
WTF Nice Try: Sorry, folks, another story to this one… My Grandma Helen was the most amazing cook ever. She could create a delicious meal out of an old tire and mud that would have people clamoring for seconds. Nobody visited her house who wasn’t invited to enjoy a homemade cookie, at the very least. She virtually hounded guests with food offers until they caved and agreed to eat. Give Grandma a hungry visitor and she was in heaven. Her gravy was in a world all of its own. And never was a meal prepared that didn’t end with sumptuously mouth-watering and non-diet friendly desserts. Grandma would plan special occasion meals for days sometimes. Everything was created from scratch, and often with ingredients from her own garden. Yet for all of this attention and care in creating meals, the entire dream dining experience could be destroyed near the end when Grandma offered instant coffee to finish off the evening. She always kept two jars of Taster’s Choice in the cupboard. The red labeled jar was regular and the green labeled jar was decaf. Repeat guests usually declined after-dinner drinks or opted for tea. Once someone bought her an automatic drip coffee maker (subtle hint). Grandma took it and made it her own though by using it to heat water for the instant coffee (passive aggressiveness at its finest). Anyway, several weeks ago my eldest daughter and I made a rare trip into a local Starbucks to grab a beverage. The cashier dutifully informed us of a special offer, “Buy a three pack of our new ‘Via’ instant take-alongs and get a 16 oz. cup of coffee for free!” I told him that I didn’t like instant coffee, but he informed me that this version tasted exactly like a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Despite innate skepticism I succumbed to the offer.
The next day at work I decided to give it a try. That first sip was like a time warp. Suddenly I was back at Grandma’s “enjoying” a cup of Taster’s Choice. I could hear her sweet little voice asking if I wanted decaf (green) or regular (red). Nostalgia is one thing, but this was a memory best left buried. My advice to everyone out there… skip the Via!
WTF Connections: Here’s a riddle for you… what do a Tyrannosaurus Rex, a Two-Headed Pokemon monster and Captain Hook have in common? Any guesses? Well, these were the characters who took a shower with me this morning. Each day is an adventure in our bathroom.
WTF Strange Local News: Imagine this, you’re riding on a school bus heading to school (duh) and you’ve not completed a major homework assignment that’s worth half of your grade and due on arrival. Wishes for an overnight blizzard and an ensuing snow day proved fruitless. In a last-ditch effort you make a prayer to the big guy requesting divine intervention and this is what happens: http://www.columbian.com/news/2010/mar/08/children-rescued-after-live-power-lines-strand-bus/. Pretty amazing.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!