WTF Wednesday: Everyday, Home Edition

A1 spotted this license plate while we were out last week. She was insistent on it being featured today, for obvious reasons.  

 

WTF Lost and Found:  The missing socks in progress were re-discovered in a project bag in my bedroom. Said bag also revealed this neglected shawl.  The shawl seemed a more interesting knit than the socks so they were relocated to my knitting wardrobe. Now I just need time to re-assess what I was doing and where I left off in the pattern. Most people would have taken notes.  Heck, I may have even taken some, but they’re lost.  

  

WTF Kitties: Speaking of things being lost, we still have Steve.  With as handsome and charming as he is, it surprises me that lines of prospective caretakers aren’t winding around the block.  Unfortunately,  everyone here (even my DH, although he won’t admit it) are swayed by his charms. Bonny and Roxanna are smitten. They both flirt with him shamelessly and compete for his attention.  LISTEN TO ME, EVERYONE! WE ARE NOT KEEPING HIM!  

  

   

WTF Home Depot Trip: Today an impromptu  trip to Home Depot is on the list.   I had this wild notion of using the weed eater around my garden beds (really, they’re islands of vegetable plants under siege from thistles,  blackberries, morning glories and slugs) so I could get close enough to pull weeds threatening the plants without being impaled on the thorn barriers keeping me at bay. The only problem is that I have NEVER been able to start either our pushing lawn mower or the weed eater. Both feature those “Easy Pull” start cords, but either my arms are too short or else I simply lack the “umph” to kick-start the motor.  It’s very embarrassing to have to ask my DH, or if he’s gone, which is often due to his job, one of the male neighbors to start these.  My pride usually prevents me from asking, hence the overgrown grass and weeds.  Asking nearby males makes me feel like an overbearingly feminine,  simpering flirt, who’s desperate for attention .  Heck, I might as well complete the picture by batting my eyelashes and using my best  southern drawl. I could also bring along a jar of pickles to have them open with their manly hands while I’m at it. The crappy thing is, once the lawn mower and weed eater have been started initially  then I have no trouble making second, third, etc. re-starts.  Just think what the neighbors would assume if they witnessed the exchange followed by a display of superwoman starting powers. Worse, what if someone thought I was hitting on him? I’d rather be known as the neighbor with the messy yard.    

Not this time.  I was bound and determined this time to kick this bad boy over on my own, with no help from someone possessing a penis. I approached to project logically. Calming deep breaths were followed with positive visualizations of swiftly and firmly pulling the handle and the engine immediately turning over.   

 Oops!  Ripping the cord right out of the motor was not part of the picture in my head.  So much for not having enough “umph”.  Now the darned thing won’t retract at all.  My guess is that the innards responsible for sucking the line back in have been broken.  I tried taking it apart to see if it could be fixed, but the screws holding the case together are in so tight that I can’t unscrew them without stripping the slots out.  This means I’ll have to ask someone stronger, probably male, to open this up for me.  I’m practicing my speech. “Parden me, but you look so strong. My little old hands are just too weak to handle this big ol’ screw driver, would you be so kind as to help a lady out?” I may as well bring a pickle jar for good measure.  

In addition to ruining the pull-cord starter on the weed eater, our bedroom door is stuck.  When we turn the handle the pins no longer retract, allowing it to open.  My guess is that these are the original fittings from when the house was made  in 1986 and the whole thing is worn out and just needs to be replaced.  

  

Yesterday I prepped an area next to the house for the girls’ pool.  Our entire backyard is on a gradual slope, so in the past we’ve placed it at the outer edge of the yard because it had the flattest area.  Unfortunately, this means that we’ve had to run the hose, extension cord, etc. down back and the girls always had to trek through grass, etc. to and fro.  It took about three hours of digging out one edge of the hill on the upward side and relocating the dirt to the lower edge. It’s not pretty, but a handy-dandy blue tarp covered up the imperfections.    

  

The only problem now is that we can’t find the filter housing gasket or one of the metal hose clamps.  They should be easy enough to replace. From the looks of the picture, it’s time to wash the windows too.  

WTF Teenagers:  While at The Home Depot I need to pick up some extra large garbage bags and a new pitchfork too.  A1’s bedroom is completely out of control.  She leaves tomorrow night for D.C. and her idea of packing leaves much to be desired. The large bag in the bottom left corner is a riot of shoes, clothes and make up thrown haphazardly into the bulging main compartment. The rejects are strewn about on the  floor, windowseat, both levels of the bunkbeds, the closet floor, the hallway floor, doorknobs, dressers, etc.   

  

A trip out to the airlines website is in order as well so luggage restrictions can be printed for review.  The suitcase A1 “packed”  is big enough to smuggle an entire family .  I tried explaining to her that the airlines not only charge extra for overweight bags, but for oversized dimensions too.  She emphatically stated that I was wrong because, “They wouldn’t make suitcases this big if you couldn’t take them on an airplane. That’s what they’re made for mom!” (imagine this being said sarcastically by a 13-year-old with her hands on her hips) It must be nice to be so brilliant.    

This same teenager recently misplaced a Literature book that cost nearly $80.00 to replace. She seemed completely nonplussed by the event, but she’s in for a rude awakening upon her return.  She’s going to work off the cost for the book.  We think the missing volume is at the school, but we weren’t allowed to go check the classrooms, lockers or lost and found.  I asked at the office if we’d get reimbursed if the book showed up and I was assured that we would. Some how I don’t think that will happen though. Even if the book shows up (the students are given numbers, but no names are written into them) it will probably just be tossed onto the stack of existing books, which means that A1 will be pulling weeds (the ones I couldn’t cut with the broken weed eater) for many hours. Cheers!   

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4 responses to “WTF Wednesday: Everyday, Home Edition

  1. PICAdrienne

    On the Alaska Air website, the information you are looking for is under Day of Trip, and I believe TSA requirements. They really do mean one ziplock bag for a carry-on. My 18 year old recently flew to California. It is amazing what having a website backing you up will do to teenage attitude. Good Luck! (And her only lost book was $12, and cost her about a week of laundry duty.)

  2. Hello Heide,
    I’ve been so busy lately I’ve just caught up by reading your last four posts!
    I suspect that Steve is here to stay and I look forward to hearing more about him. Why didn’t you just tie a ribbon round his neck and hand him over on Father’s Day?
    Hope A1 flies out OK. It doesn’t matter about the flight bag as long as it is inside the allowance. She has to carry it and that’s the only way you really learn to pack more effectively.
    Glad you have the pool up and I hope summer hangs around a bit. We have rumours of “hose-pipe-bans” because of the low rainfall. Mind you, it all seemed to fall on my house.
    My knitting has been in its bag for a while but will get an airing today because we have a spell between visitors.
    Cheers Gillian

  3. Roxie

    Sometimes you adopt the cat, sometimes the cat adopts you. I’ll pay to have him neutered when he’s old enough.

    They make luggage in all sizes and shapes because some people have more money than sense and are willing to pay through the nose to take along that darling capri outfit and a second back-up pair of party shoes just in case.

    Experienced travelers can tell a sophisticated woman by how little she has to schlepp through the airport. I spend a fair ammount of travel time snickering at youngsters who can not conceive of wearing the same skirt twice on a two week trip.

    Too bad you can’t make A1 list all the things she never even wore while on the trip. And another list of the things lost. Very educational.

  4. Amazing the way those animals worm their way into your affections isn’t? I think you’ve definitely been adopted. That’s how I managed to get two dogs and three cats. I now refuse to look any stray animal in the eye! 🙂

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