WTF Wasted Efforts

I’m growing grouchier as I get older.  Everyday “happenings” that used to mildly and temporarily annoy me are now capable of inciting full-fledged tantrums, complete with foot stamping, cursing and other juvenile reactions. But I just hate spending my dwindling energy and precious time on endeavors that are so thoughtlessly and swiftly undermined. 

WTF Cooking/Baking:  I enjoy baking and preparing special meals (everyday cooking not included).  Over the past week I baked more than normal, only to see it disappear with nary a thank you belch from my family.  Three loaves of banana bread lasted 16 hours. Two lemon meringue pies didn’t even survive overnight.

Yes, it’s flattering to know that my family likes the food, but do these people really need to swarm in like a plague of locusts and devour everything when I’m not looking? An actual sit-down session with coffee and talking over dessert would be nice.

WTF Yard Work: Yard work is a colossal waste of time, energy and natural resources… especially in regards to lawns.  Keeping grass green requires regular watering, physical weeding, or applying chemical weed and feed, mowing, raking (if you don’t have a bagging mower) and edging.  Neglect of any of these steps can render one’s yard the scourge of the neighborhood.  Last week A2 came in with another of her famous ground-level nature shots. 

Well crud muffins.  Looks like I dropped the landscaping ball.  My new philosophy is, if you can’t eat it or enjoy it in a vase, it’s not worth the effort. Eventually I’d love to cover much of the back 40 (actually, it’s only 1/2 acre) with raised garden beds and fruit trees.   Asphalt or river rock with weed barrier is under consideration for the front yard.

WTF Cat Toys: The two younger girls constantly nag me about buying cat toys while we’re out grocery shopping.  Over the years we’ve had laser pointers, dingle balls, little capnip mice, feathers tied to sticks, and a variety of other contraptions marketed towards feline owners.  Often, the actual cats either ignore the toys or else destroy them faster than you can say, “Hairballs”.   I tell the girls to make toys for the cats, or just use a piece of yarn (not attached to a current WIP).  Usually they agree to impromptu amusement, but they still insist that our poor kitties are suffering from neglect.  Lately I downloaded some kitty toy patterns to be sewn and knitted.  They’re small projects that use up left-overs and take little time to make. The problem is, I can’t find a “little time” in which to make them so the girls persist with their nagging.  Yesterday I uncovered evidence supporting my claim that buying, or now creating, special toys is unnecessary. This collection was found under a wardrobe.  (We now know where all of the hairbands go)

This delight was discovered on the sun porch near their food dishes. 

WTF Driving: The Two-Second following rule must no longer apply because nobody seems to follow it any more. Yesterday  during an outing the parade of cars cutting in front of me rose to epic proportions.  I’m not Speed Racer, but I usually meet, or slightly exceed, posted speed limits.  This van came from the left lane and behind, only to dart in front of me right before the intersection (we were stopped when the picture was taken).  Sheer lunacy, as there was nobody behind me for several blocks. 

This wasn’t an isolated event.  Has driving become so cutthroat and competitive now that squeezing in front of people with more than a 10 foot gap between their vehicle and the bumper of the car in front of them is the norm?  Sheesh.  And to the elderly gentleman driving the red Corvette who narrowly missed sideswiping my hard-to-see mini van while playing Pole Position all I can say is, “Nice car, sorry about your penis!”   Maybe it’s time to ditch caution and tailgate with the rest of the traffic… just kidding. 

Efforts today will center on “letting things go”.  If unsuccessful you may see me featured on the news. I’ll be the crazy lady dancing in the middle of the freeway with a chicken. Cheers!


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12 responses to “WTF Wasted Efforts

  1. My Denver trip was full of tailgaters so close to the rear of my rental car that I couldn’t see their license plates, 65mph average in 40mph zones and 85mph average in the 75 zones. Granted, I too usually meet, or slightly exceed, posted speed limits on the freeway but 65 in a 40???

  2. Dandelions are edible. They taste disgusting, but they are, theoretically, great for salads and tea. Maybe with a lot of dressing or sugar.

  3. “… capable of inciting full-fledged tantrums…” Um, yeah, I don’t want to talk about it!
    As for cat toys, Dusty has discovered paper towels. The whole roll. He was wrapped around it and going for a full disemboweling of the new roll in the middle of the night last night.
    As for the pies, they looked delicious. My favorite.

  4. River rock in the front would be very zen except for the fact that the neighborhood children would have handy ammo. I’m sorry about the baked goods. I would love to sit with you and have a piece of pie and chat. We might both be a tad saner.

  5. Rebecca

    Heide you CRACK me up!!! The pies look gorgeous!!! My dilema is that I love to bake, when I do, I get the wrath of Dennis “because he will eat it” and “I am not being supportive of his attempt at weight loss.” All I can say is should Andrew and I suffer because Dennis has no will power???

  6. You must be my west coast clone. It really irks me when some nutty driver waits at a stop sign to dart right out in front of me – especially when there isn’t a single car visible in my rear view mirror.

  7. Heidi,

    Don’t ever come to SoCal ~ the driving here would make you insane! On our freeways, if you leave even 5 feet between your car and the one in front, someone will immediately nose in, slow down, and flip you off for not getting out of his/her way. (I may be overestimating the amount of space left between cars ~ could be it’s only 2 or 3 feet that triggers this bizarre behavior.)

    I drive above the speed limit routinely, and routinely get passed by someone who gives me a dirty look, presumbably for daring to hold him/her up by going slower than s/he wanted.

    But that’s just SoCal. Everybody here is in an awful hurry to get somewhere.

  8. Roxie

    Those crappy tailgaters are all Californian transplants. I sit in the privacy of my car and lecture them about the bad karma they are creating for themselves.

  9. LOL, I was just thinking you shouldn’t drive in California–especially SoCal! Christine and Roxie beat me to it, but you really don’t want to drive down here!

    The scary thing for me is that after living and driving here, it’s hard for me to drive in Washington and Oregon . . . I never was a sane driver, but now . . . well, I’ll just stop before I dig myself a deeper hole.

    BTW–Will you be around the week of Aug 28 – Sept 6? I’ll be in Washougal that week . . . would love to see you and the fam!

  10. I feel so much better having read that. hurray for grumpy oldish women

  11. The cat toys crack me up. We found a mountain of milk jug rings under our fridge and stove where the cat had batted them and she takes particular joy in stealing hairbands out the drawer in my bathroom. We usually find those taken all the way downstairs and placed in the doggy water bowl. yuck! Who needs to spend $ on cat toys? Not me.

  12. Carmen Lane

    Heide, your pies wouldn’t survive a day at our house either! Are you kidding? Home-made lemon merengue pies? CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP! You’re a great cook. DEAL WITH IT 😉

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