Thursday

I woke up this morning feeling exceptionally stiff. My DH said that I was having some major twitching and spasm attacks last night. The worse thing about this is that I don’t know if it’s just a little M.S. flare up or something different.  If they become regular can I count that as a work out?

Chris (of the Woolybuns-type) sent me a list of puns this morning that gave me a fit of the giggles, so I just have to share them. 

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your
kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says
‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

27. Have you heard about the two monocles that made a spectacle of themselves? They were framed!

Thank you Chris!

Hope everyone has a great day.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Thursday

  1. Karen O

    Sounds like you were jogging in your sleep. I’d call that exercise! Hope you feel better soon. Hugs!

  2. tk

    Sorry about the stiffness! The puns are great!

  3. Roxie

    My Christmas cactus is blooming before Thanksgiving. Is this premature ecactulation?

    Sounds like you need a nice warm bath and a good long backrub. Right?

  4. you had me giggling! ;o)

    Not a pun but one of R’s favorite jokes:

    There were two muffins in an oven, one muffin turned to the other and said, “wow, it’s hot in here!” the other muffin yelled, “HOLY CRAP!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!” hehe

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