WTF Wednesday

WTF Math: By the end of the work day my brain is fried and activities become involuntary functions.  Collecting my younger girls, driving home, checking the mail, scooping the cat box, starting dinner, etc. , it’s pretty much the same routine every day. Auto-Zombie-Mom-mode lasts until after retrieving my oldest from her evening activities.  At that point I take a hot bath, throw on my sloppy sweats and enjoy a cup of tea.  The bath-sweats-tea combination usually jump starts my brain back into thinking mode again… usually.  A2 is in the 6th grade and I often help her with her homework.  Tuesday evening she patiently waited (my girls can tell the difference between zombie mom and thinking mom) until my rejuvenation regime was over before asking for math help.  I read the problem.  I re-read the problem, but still drew a blank.  A2 was sent to the kitchen for a snack while I tried to diagram the problem.  While she was gone I also frantically thumbed through the previous pages of her book looking for examples. OMG! I had no idea what to do.   Explaining to my 12-year-old daughter that I didn’t have a clue was mildly humiliating, but the worst part was knowing that I should be able to solve and explain this problem:

A mother is 1 3/8  times as tall as her daughter. The girl is 1 1/3 times as tall as her brother. How many times taller is the mother than the son?

For Pete’s sake! If the darned book had given me the height of any of the afore-mentioned characters… or if I’d  just woken from a full night’s sleep and had my coffee, then maybe I could have done more than stare blankly at the page.  Resisting the urge to tell her that she will NEVER have this be an actual real-life scenerio was hard.

WTF Hands:  I watched a video of an interview that took place (several years ago) with this hand model and a female host.  In the model’s own words, her hands are, “Flawless.” She said that she never opens cans, does dishes, takes out the laundry, etc.  She wears gloves on her hands most of the time and her hands “Haven’t seen the light of day in 15 years.” 

Okay, so all of that coddling might be tolerable considering they are what she uses to make a living, but listening to her vain gushing about them while she continually strokes them up and down during the interview annoyed the crap out of me. And then she is rude to the interviewer.  I’m not a violent person, but by the end of the clip I wanted to squeeze her hands really, really hard or hold her down and scribble on them with a Sharpie.  Heck, there are parts of me that haven’t seen the sun in 15 years, but I don’t rub them together and flaunt them in people’s faces (at least not while sober).  Maybe she should take a warning from George Castanza on Seinfeld! 

 WTF Christmas Cards: The Christmas Cards still aren’t done.  Heh, heh! That makes me think of Elaine and the picture photo Christmas Cards she mailed out! 

WTF Kitty: Steve has a new favorite place to play, hide and sleep.

He’s the epitome of efficiency here.  The food bag is warm, private and full of crunchies. It’s also near the litter box and comes with the added bonus of annoying Bonnie to no end.  Even when I feed her in another room the food smells like Steve and has little orange hairs mixed in. I need to get an extra-large container and start sealing up the food, otherwise Steve will get an arse three ax handles wide and Bonny will starve.

It’s raining cats and dogs, with no indications of stopping soon.  This kind of chilly, wet weather makes me want to hibernate. Thank heavens I don’t have recess duty today. Happy Wednesday!




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11 responses to “WTF Wednesday

  1. Wendy

    I put my catfood in a large container that sits on the floor in a corner of the kitchen. The cat has now decided that the 2nd best place in the house to nap (first being on the laptop keyboard) is on top of the container.

  2. Karen O

    The hand model is kinda creepy. Not to mention that her hands look atrophied from lack of use.

  3. OMG! Blog math quiz. I didn’t study, but I would convert the fractions to /24ths…so I should figure the difference is 2 17/24ths difference.
    Pass or fail…?

  4. I flunked 9th grade algebra because of questions like this.

  5. Gack – I hate it when the brain locks like that.

    mom is 1 5/6 son’s height

  6. Roxie

    I would SO be Steve if I had half a chance!! Food, warmth, privacy and a chance to annoy authority all in one packet.

    The math is SO perverse. Eeeewww! What a good mom you are. Amazing how a hot bath can jump-start the brain.

    That hand model is crippled. Her hands will eventually start to age, and then who will she be? When your whole identity and self-worth is tied up in one physical aspect, you’re screwed!

  7. knitwonpurltoo

    OMG, girl. I giggled through this entire post.

  8. Kim


    A tip you can give your daughter to help with future math conundrums… substitute integers (whole numbers) into the fractions. That usually helps you see what operation you need to do.

    So the question might be: A mother is 2 times as tall as her daughter. The daughter is 3 times as tall as her brother. How many times taller is the mother than her son? And then you can see that the mother is two times as tall as 3 times as tall, so you multiply.

    Then just redo the question with fractions: 1 3/8 x 1 1/3 = 1 5/6 (yay, that’s what trek got too).

  9. Oh Steve makes me laugh SO hard!!!!!

  10. DH

    Ok, the hand chick is creepy, and annoying. I broke my computer punching her in the head. However, the Jerry Sienfeld episodes were funny. Wished I could have gotten a Christmas card!

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