Gloom, Depression, Agony… Updated for even more Gloom

The appointment was a complete disaster.  I had a mild headache in the morning, so my wonderful DH decided to drive me down.  Thank heavens he did because by the time we made it to Clackamas my head was throbbing and I was completely nauseated. I checked in and the nurse/assistant gave me a blanket and a garbage can while I waited for the neurologist.  By the time the doctor got in the room everything was spinning and I was sweating like crazy.  She was not happy to see me. At all.  After she skirted the edge of the room to get to her computer she asked why I didn’t cancel the appointment.  I explained to her that 1. I didn’t feel that bad when we left our house and that 2.  getting in to see a neurologist was like trying to pull hen’s teeth and I was having problems that I wanted to discuss.  I didn’t bring up the missed appointment fees charged by the HMO, or the more obvious fact that doctors normally take care of sick people.  Not much was accomplished in the time that I was in the room with her.  She kept pulling up data about past visits and asking me questions about test results from years past.  I tried telling her about some of my concerns (uncontrollable twitching in my extremities, especially when resting) but she wasn’t interested.  Not two minutes later she proclaimed that during my last MRI I had botched results because I wouldn’t hold still. Um, yeah, that would be that entire “twitching” issue that she ignored.  I also told her that I’m exhausted and often go to bed before 7:00. I told her about daily headaches. I told her about numbness in my hands (it used to be just in my feet). Heck, I even mentioned that I can’t sneeze without having to change my pants, but I don’t think she heard a word I was saying.  Finally, I had to make a dash (okay, a stagger) to the bathroom so I could throw up in private.  When I finished the nurse was waiting outside the bathroom door to escort me back to my room.  I told her that I was going home.  She was very kind… the doctor, not so much.  I called my DH and he met me at the front entrance of the building . I’ve been in and out of bed since getting home, making trips to the bathroom and kitchen for drinks, etc.  This may be a stomach virus. I’ll have to see what I feel like in the morning. My parents and Karen and her family were planning on coming down tomorrow. Both parties have been contacted and told that I’m germy.  When possible, I ‘m calling to get a new primary care physician (my old one left) and see if I can get an appointment.  I’ll address some of my health problems with him/her. Hopefully I can get in before March.  I firmly believe HMOs will be the death of us all.

The Original Post

Did the title scare you away?  It should.  Today I’m going to complain loudly about my ailments.  Not only have I gained an unholy amount of weight since October (no working scale in our house, but pants don’t fit), but my health is going to the dogs.  More days than not I have headaches and my back is killing me.  There are a plethora of other non family friendly issues too, but rather than air them here, I’m going to the neurologist.  After the requisite “stepping up on the scale” and having my new weight announced loudly to complete strangers, she shall hear my ever-growing list of complaints. Hopefully she can discern which issues are M.S. related and which are simply due to regular aging.   I only see her once every two years and since my last visit she moved from an office here in Washington to one down in Oregon.  Hopefully the drive won’t be too confusing. I’m padding my travel time with an extra half-hour of “getting lost” time.   MRIs and other recommended tests are expensive and the waiting lists to have them done is ridiculously long, so I doubt that conclusive testing will be scheduled.  But the “progression” (not a good word choice) of symptoms will be tracked and documented.  Also, maybe she can refer me to see some other specialists for the non-neurological issues. HMOs operate more smoothly with referrals.  On the off-chance that I have any free time my DH’s unfinished Christmas socks are coming  too.  Hope everyone else is spending their Mondays pursuing more enjoyable endeavors. Cheers!



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9 responses to “Gloom, Depression, Agony… Updated for even more Gloom

  1. Karen O

    Good luck, H. Love you!

  2. Roxie

    Now all I hear is the song from HeeHaw. ” Gloom, despair and agony on me. Deep dark depression, awful misery. If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all. Gloom, despair and agony on me.”

    MS sucks. You’re fully entitled to complain. You are a full bore warrior and you take it like a Marine, but it flat out sucks, and it’s ok to complain!!

    When are you coming in to Portland? Maybe I can meet you somewhere. Maybe. I can dream, anyhow. I owe you a buncha hugs!!

    • Roxie, the trip was a disaster and I’m probably contagious, so it’s a good thing I didn’t see your comment until after I got home. We do need to meet up sometime though.

  3. knitwonpurltoo

    OK, kiddo. I hate that you are sick and having hideous headaches and nausea. Could your meds be causing migraines? I got a fabulous package in the mail today from my wonderful dear friend, Heide, and cannot thank you enough. Please please please take care. Love to you, Sweetie!!!!

  4. We here, Number Guy and I, do hereby declare that your neurologist sucks. Sure hope you can get a new one in your network soon.

    PS – Of course, we all know how *that* process goes, too :o(

  5. MOM

    We are planning on coming down tomorrow to check on you. Imagine that a sick person would go to a Dr…..That idiot needs to find a new line of work. HMO’s suck…..unfortunetly I think this is what we are all in for..We’ll see you tomorrow….MOM

  6. Roxie

    I have a friend who was experiencing nausea, headaches and the trots (I can’t spell dio – diare – diarheah – that thing.) for two weeks. When he finally was dragged in to emergency, it turned out his kidneys had quit. Don’t let this go on too long.

    Your neurologist sucks. You could have phoned in that visit. I would suggest you write her an e-mail detailing your questions and symptoms with bullet points (and color coding if necessary) Do this after you have taken the black magic marker and the sheet of newspaper and written the furious hateful letter where you call her every name in the book, then make up some new ones, and list how she failed as a medic and as a human being. Then you take that sheet of newspaper, shred it, wash your hands, and be reasonable and rational. Between bouts of heaving. Bless your dear heart. Your mommy is a jewel!!

  7. So sorry to read of your bad head and worse neurologist. I have Wikipediad HMO and still don’t really understand it, but I guess all medical consultants have a god complex and can’t hear us poor mortals, what do we know after all, it is just our body.
    Hope the symptms have receded and you have got some rest. Points to the DH for your new computer.
    I think the email to the consultant is an excellent idea. Except the bullet points, I always get stuck in a death grip with them and can only excape by throwing the machine against the wall.

  8. Erin

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling so bad! I had a similar experience and we didn’t have an HMO…the problem is the physician. I agree with Roxie (don’t know her but she seems smart and cool 🙂 Write the neurologist and ask your questions. Don’t pull any punches about them not being addressed in the visit either, sometimes doctors need to be reminded that there’s a person in the same room with them…some really need to learn to pull their faces away from the computer long enough to look into our eyes!

    Hugs to you Heidi!

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